Wisdom through Mistakes

[Greg]

There's a lot of wisdom on this forum and I'm assuming a lot of it comes overtime with experience and mistakes. I've also been reading a lot about mentors and that I was wondering if anyone has any worthwhile tidbits of knowledge they care to share that they have learned through mistakes/hardships/etc.

For instance,

I learned to not dive into an agreement without fully understanding what I was agreeing to: went for a government scholarship that I couldn't get out of without paying money back for them funding my school. I couldn't quit the government even though I was led to believe on limited information that I'd be working at a government research lab versus doing more contract work.

Second, I learned to always make sure to check to see if you need a Visa to get into any foreign country. Me, being young and ignorant, didn't realize I needed one for going to China for 5 days. No one else on the trip told me I'd have to worry about it. I ended up stranded at the Los Angeles airport because I couldn't move any further west without the Visa and spent the night in the airport terminal before taking a flight back with my tail between my legs. The funny part was, I was going to China for a Robotics conference and to be paid for from a poster contest I won at school. In the end with the Visa fiasco, I ended up not going to China, and not getting reimbursed for portions of the trip because of this, so lost $400 overall.

So, #1: Always know what you're getting in to, ask as many people as you can for gathering information before making a decision. Ask questions!
#2: Ask questions again, but always look to see if you need a Visa for a country for the amount of time you're spending there. Planning ahead!

Looking forward to learning through others mistakes!

[RobJ]

Not working as hard as you can and leveraging your skills in your 20's.

Great post by Wall Street Playboys about this: http://wallstreetplayboys.com/what-type ... -you-have/

To summarize it: anyone has a certain type of intelligence because of external factors and interest. If you use to be a very social kid when you were young you can be almost certain you will be good at Sales. If you weren't that social and was rather focusing in your younger years on maths/... you're probably better off as an engineer.

I would advise anyone to read 'Talent is Overrated'. The book just explains why someone has a 'talent' for something, why you can learn anything you want but it's going to take time, and why the stuff you did when you were very young (I'm even talking from 2 - 10 here) can give you a headstart in certain areas.
The WSPs tell you why you should use that intelligence now (something you already acquired) to not waste time.

[Mountaineer]

Involve people in decisions that impact them.

Never cause someone to publicly lose face.

Measure twice, saw once - or said another way, ready, aim, fire.

For a successful marriage, keep her laughing - the rest will fall into place.

Marriage is not 50% - 50%, it is 100% - 100%.

Family comes first, friends come second.

If you want your children to be successful and love and respect you later in life, remember that you are the loving and sometimes tough love parent - they are the child.  Do not act like they are your best friend.

... Mountaineer

[madbean]

Second, I learned to always make sure to check to see if you need a Visa to get into any foreign country. Me, being young and ignorant, didn't realize I needed one for going to China for 5 days. No one else on the trip told me I'd have to worry about it. I ended up stranded at the Los Angeles airport because I couldn't move any further west without the Visa and spent the night in the airport terminal before taking a flight back with my tail between my legs. The funny part was, I was going to China for a Robotics conference and to be paid for from a poster contest I won at school. In the end with the Visa fiasco, I ended up not going to China, and not getting reimbursed for portions of the trip because of this, so lost $400 overall.

We did something similar by hopping on a train to Shenzen from Hong Kong but we don't have the excuse of being young - just ignorant. Hong Kong residents assured us we could do it without a Visa not taking into account the fact that we were American citizens. So we ended up getting our Visas stamped for exit from Hong Kong but then we found ourselves in some kind of no-man's land between the two territories. And they didn't just turn us away at Shenzen either. They actually took us into custody because we weren't supposed to be there. They kept shifting us around from room to room and although I joked with my wife that I was going to stop shopping at Walmart if they didn't let us in, they had us pretty worried. Finally, they sent us back and then we had to explain the whole thing again to the border guards in Hong Kong to get back in. Was pretty unnerving but it it didn't stop us from getting on a boat to Macau the next day where it thankfully turned out they were right that you didn't need a Visa.

[dualstow]

Visas - unbelievable that no one even mentioned it to you, Greg. They suck.
I landed in Taiwan without a visa in the 90s, which was fine. However, when I visited Bali with my Taiwanese ex and her parents, I learned that returning to Taiwan directly from Indonesia is a problem, no matter how many days they had previously stamped me for in Taipei. Oops.

[WiseOne]

Involve people in decisions that impact them.

Never cause someone to publicly lose face.

Excellent advice for workplace success!

To which I'll add:  Be nice to everybody, ESPECIALLY people you dislike.

[Pointedstick]

For large or expensive purchases you are contemplating making for the first time, rent first to try before you buy; If you realize you don't need it permanently, it's easier and cheaper to not buy than it is to sell it later.

Always understand the details of how to do anything you hire someone else to do; otherwise how are you going to know whether they're doing it properly and that you're getting your money's worth?

If you feel trapped in some situation or location, you have more options that you realize; you just need to mentally let go of the present benefits of the arrangement that's making you uncomfortable. It's always possible to escape, at the cost of giving up those benefits, but it's worth it.

If you have a personal problem with a friend or family member, address it sooner rather than later, no matter how painful; if you don't, it will grow more toxic in your mind and you risk permanently damaging your relationship.

Don't borrow five figures to attend a liberal arts college.

[Greg]

Good stuff thus far people. Thanks for your posts. I found this that seems fitting.

http://www.the-open-mind.com/20-things- ... ter-at-50/

[barrett]

...I learned to always make sure to check to see if you need a Visa to get into any foreign country. Me, being young and ignorant, didn't realize I needed one for going to China for 5 days.

This is not wisdom but it's funny that I once had the opposite problem. I was working in Hong Kong on what I realized later was a one-entry visa. I went up to the mainland for the day and then couldn't get back into Hong Kong. The Chinese authorities detained me for a couple of hours and then stuck me on a bus with instructions to "never come back to China!"

[Libertarian666]

For large or expensive purchases you are contemplating making for the first time, rent first to try before you buy; If you realize you don't need it permanently, it's easier and cheaper to not buy than it is to sell it later.

Always understand the details of how to do anything you hire someone else to do; otherwise how are you going to know whether they're doing it properly and that you're getting your money's worth?

If you feel trapped in some situation or location, you have more options that you realize; you just need to mentally let go of the present benefits of the arrangement that's making you uncomfortable. It's always possible to escape, at the cost of giving up those benefits, but it's worth it.

If you have a personal problem with a friend or family member, address it sooner rather than later, no matter how painful; if you don't, it will grow more toxic in your mind and you risk permanently damaging your relationship.

Don't borrow five figures to attend a liberal arts college.

Where can you go for just 5 figures?

[Cortopassi]

For me, as an engineer, other than treating people fairly (regardless of how they treat you) and not procrastinating on projects, the two most important things:

--Admit your mistakes.  Do not try to cover things up, lie or shift blame. 
--Admit when you aren't understanding something.

Both of those have gotten me more respect from people at all levels than I ever thought possible.

[goodasgold]

As the song goes:

"Scared money don't win
Evil women drink gin
And Beechnut's the tobacco you chew"

Well, as far as accuracy goes, the first line of the lyrics above hit the nail on the head, and they just might score two out of three, depending on your personal experiences. 

[MachineGhost]

Excellent advice for workplace success!

To which I'll add:  Be nice to everybody, ESPECIALLY people you dislike.

What does that mean in the context of dealing with political players as you alluded to in your other post?  Got an example?  It's one thing to be nice but don't political players take advantage of you?  How do you weasle your way out of an obligation they place on you?