Tortoise's baby

[Xan]

Congratulations! Is this your first?

[Tortoise]

Thanks, Xan! Very thoughtful of you. Yes, this is my first

Any advice for a soon-to-be new parent of a girl?

[Cortopassi]

I have two girls. Only advice -- before you know it they are 16 and 20.

Each age has pluses and minuses, but that range from about 3-8 or so when you are the king of their world and they hold your hand and sit with you reading, priceless.

[Xan]

Three boys here, so no specific advice on girls, but my oldest is 6 so I may have a fresher perspective on the baby years.

They are HARD!

Corto is absolutely right about how quickly it goes by. My favorite phrase describing young children is "The nights are long but the years are short". How true.

It'll feel like your life had completely changed (it has) and that it'll always be like the newborn phase (it won't). When it's hard (and it will be!) take it a day at a time and know it isn't permanent.

[Tortoise]

Thanks for the sage advice, Xan and Cortopassi! I'll try to remember this when the going gets rough.

Like my username implies, I'm one of those people who tends to do things later or more slowly than most other people -- including becoming a parent! My wife (41) and I (40) will be those parents who are 10 years older than all the other kids' parents at birthday parties and school events

I'll be able to give the other dads tips on preparing for excess nose hair and random aches and pains, and they'll be able to tell me what hipster millennials are up to.

[Xan]

It's interesting how in many ways the "age" of a parent is defined by the age of his kids. You'll find yourself getting advice about life from people who are much younger than you, but whose kids are older. They have more years as parents.

[Ad Orientem]

Felicitations! May God grant you joy and a dozen more!

[Smith1776]

I hope to be a father one day.

I want to be married by the time I'm 40 -- currently 31. And I want to have children shortly after.

No, I'm not secretly Ted Mosby.

[Tortoise]

I hope to be a father one day.

I want to be married by the time I'm 40 -- currently 31. And I want to have children shortly after.

If that's your plan, and if you want your children to share your DNA, then I hope you plan to marry a woman at least several years younger than yourself

Seriously... female fertility declines very rapidly starting in a woman's early 30s. Her fertility curve basically resembles exponential decay, so that by the time she's 40 her chances of spontaneous conception are much, much lower than when she was in her early 30s or younger. Plus, by that point the chances of miscarriage, birth defects, and pregnancy complications are much higher.

My wife and I should have started trying to conceive before she was ~35. But we started a bit late, when she was 38, and by then it just wasn't happening. So we ended up having to go the IVF route, which was very time-consuming, expensive, stressful, and socially awkward.

Seems like a lot of female celebrities get pregnant in their 40s, giving the false impression that it's easy to do, but I guarantee you the vast majority of them have to resort to IVF, and a lot of them probably even have to go even further and use egg donors as well.

IVF and fertility still seems like a relatively taboo subject in our culture, so a lot of this stuff just isn't widely discussed. I knew almost none of it until I learned way more than I ever wanted to know as part of going through IVF.

No, I'm not secretly Ted Mosby.

[Smith1776]

I hope to be a father one day.

I want to be married by the time I'm 40 -- currently 31. And I want to have children shortly after.

If that's your plan, and if you want your children to share your DNA, then I hope you plan to marry a woman at least several years younger than yourself

Seriously... female fertility declines very rapidly starting in a woman's early 30s. Her fertility curve basically resembles exponential decay, so that by the time she's 40 her chances of spontaneous conception are much, much lower than when she was in her early 30s or younger. Plus, by that point the chances of miscarriage, birth defects, and pregnancy complications are much higher.

My wife and I should have started trying to conceive before she was ~35. But we started a bit late, when she was 38, and by then it just wasn't happening. So we ended up having to go the IVF route, which was very time-consuming, expensive, stressful, and socially awkward.

Seems like a lot of female celebrities get pregnant in their 40s, giving the false impression that it's easy to do, but I guarantee you the vast majority of them have to resort to IVF, and a lot of them probably even have to go even further and use egg donors as well.

IVF and fertility still seems like a relatively taboo subject in our culture, so a lot of this stuff just isn't widely discussed. I knew almost none of it until I learned way more than I ever wanted to know as part of going through IVF.

No, I'm not secretly Ted Mosby.

Huh. You're right. I think my perception about female fertility has definitely been skewed. I always thought that difficulties in conceiving weren't really prevalent for a woman until they were deep into their 40s or so.

Thanks for the info though. It always helps to be educated, especially when it comes to family planning.

Now I understand better why some women are in such a hurry to have kids as they get into their late 20s...

[yankees60]

I hope to be a father one day.

I want to be married by the time I'm 40 -- currently 31. And I want to have children shortly after.

If that's your plan, and if you want your children to share your DNA, then I hope you plan to marry a woman at least several years younger than yourself

Seriously... female fertility declines very rapidly starting in a woman's early 30s. Her fertility curve basically resembles exponential decay, so that by the time she's 40 her chances of spontaneous conception are much, much lower than when she was in her early 30s or younger. Plus, by that point the chances of miscarriage, birth defects, and pregnancy complications are much higher.

My wife and I should have started trying to conceive before she was ~35. But we started a bit late, when she was 38, and by then it just wasn't happening. So we ended up having to go the IVF route, which was very time-consuming, expensive, stressful, and socially awkward.

Seems like a lot of female celebrities get pregnant in their 40s, giving the false impression that it's easy to do, but I guarantee you the vast majority of them have to resort to IVF, and a lot of them probably even have to go even further and use egg donors as well.

IVF and fertility still seems like a relatively taboo subject in our culture, so a lot of this stuff just isn't widely discussed. I knew almost none of it until I learned way more than I ever wanted to know as part of going through IVF.

No, I'm not secretly Ted Mosby.

Huh. You're right. I think my perception about female fertility has definitely been skewed. I always thought that difficulties in conceiving weren't really prevalent for a woman until they were deep into their 40s or so.

Thanks for the info though. It always helps to be educated, especially when it comes to family planning.

Now I understand better why some women are in such a hurry to have kids as they get into their late 20s...

Long ago when a doctor I knew told me that his daughter wanted to follow in his footsteps and also become a doctor he added that she'd then be 28 when she finally finished he schooling. And, he added that was getting close to the high end of when they liked to see women having babies without complications. That was probably some time in the early 80s. I was quite surprised with him telling me that.

VInny

[Tortoise]

Quick update: My baby girl finally arrived this past weekend! Baby and mom are both healthy and doing really well.

[Mountaineer]

Quick update: My baby girl finally arrived this past weekend! Baby and mom are both healthy and doing really well.

.

Hey Tortoise, congratulations to the family!

.

[Xan]

Congratulations, Tortoise!

[Hal]

Congratulations! Wishing you and your (new) family all the best

[shekels]

Great Enjoy the family.

[WiseOne]

Quick update: My baby girl finally arrived this past weekend! Baby and mom are both healthy and doing really well.

Congratulations Tortoise!!!!!!! A baby during this time is a real gift.

[Tortoise]

Many thanks, everyone! I really appreciate it.

Pugs, didn't you say a while back that you're anticipating a new arrival fairly soon, too?