The Suicide Portfolio
Moderator: Global Moderator
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Since this six-month contest started on June 9th, which is a Thursday, shall we say the final results will be based on closing prices Wednesday, December 7th? That's exactly 26 weeks, or 182 days.
I haven't updated the results since early October, so I'm hoping that might make the final results a bit more of a surprise.
I haven't updated the results since early October, so I'm hoping that might make the final results a bit more of a surprise.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
I'm afraid that my ability to deliberately lose money is going to prove to be only fair.
Who knew it would be this hard?
Who knew it would be this hard?
Q: “Do you have funny shaped balloons?”
A: “Not unless round is funny.”
A: “Not unless round is funny.”
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
If we assume the markets are random noise, then I would think it would be just as hard to pick a top-performing losing portfolio ahead of time as a top-performing winning portfolio. I've always held that the reason why two equally talented, educated and financed traders could reach 180 degree opposite conclusions on a stock (one thinks it's a buy, the other a sell) is because they are trading on random noise and don't have enough information to make a good decision. So picking a losing asset is probably just as hard due to the same problem.MediumTex wrote: I'm afraid that my ability to deliberately lose money is going to prove to be only fair.
Who knew it would be this hard?
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
The pack of reckless speculators in this contest has taken on such gut-wrenching volatility that two months of results should be quite exciting!Tortoise wrote: I haven't updated the results since early October, so I'm hoping that might make the final results a bit more of a surprise.
Hopefully we can all afford to pay for our internet services for one more week in spite of the "performance" of our suicide portfolios over these past six months. I've been selling blood and hawking family heirlooms to keep the lights on. It's all so I can find out whether l82start's portfolio has any value left whatsoever by contest's end.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Do you get your internet service from Rent-A-Center?Lone Wolf wrote: Hopefully we can all afford to pay for our internet services for one more week...
If so, I'll bet your contract would say that you are actually buying the whole internet, but you are paying for it on a weekly basis and you will just receive home broadband service until the full purchase price of the internet has been paid.
Q: “Do you have funny shaped balloons?”
A: “Not unless round is funny.”
A: “Not unless round is funny.”
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Tortoise, thanks so much for doing this. Is anyone besides me surprised that on the last tabulation on October, after 4 months, all portfolios are losers? I will be interested if we can keep it up at 6 months.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to announce the final results of the first official Suicide Portfolio Contest!
And the winner is...

Here are the detailed results:
Name Final Portfolio Value Max Drawdown
l82start $38,393 -$66,008
6 Iron $64,517 -$52,827
HB Reader $68,894 -$31,106
Lone Wolf $71,292 -$34,244
MediumTex $81,885 -$24,550
Storm $85,312 -$28,766
Kaffe $87,032 -$22,166
Tortoise $126,834 -$20,144



6 Iron put up a good fight, but in the end nobody could overcome l82start's penny stock debacle. In fact, l82start's suicide portfolio was so incredibly bad that it actually appeared to have a massive heart attack and then finally flatline about 2/3 of the way through the contest (the spike was real: GACFQ shot up by 12x on October 6th and then immediately crashed back down). Truly the final throes of a suicidal portfolio drugged up on anti-HB/anti-PP principles.
Impressively, as 6 Iron noted, almost every portfolio in this contest was a loser--except for my own, which gained almost 30%
Thanks to all of the contestants for participating in this fun and thought-provoking little experiment.
And the winner is...
Here are the detailed results:
Name Final Portfolio Value Max Drawdown
l82start $38,393 -$66,008
6 Iron $64,517 -$52,827
HB Reader $68,894 -$31,106
Lone Wolf $71,292 -$34,244
MediumTex $81,885 -$24,550
Storm $85,312 -$28,766
Kaffe $87,032 -$22,166
Tortoise $126,834 -$20,144
6 Iron put up a good fight, but in the end nobody could overcome l82start's penny stock debacle. In fact, l82start's suicide portfolio was so incredibly bad that it actually appeared to have a massive heart attack and then finally flatline about 2/3 of the way through the contest (the spike was real: GACFQ shot up by 12x on October 6th and then immediately crashed back down). Truly the final throes of a suicidal portfolio drugged up on anti-HB/anti-PP principles.
Impressively, as 6 Iron noted, almost every portfolio in this contest was a loser--except for my own, which gained almost 30%

Thanks to all of the contestants for participating in this fun and thought-provoking little experiment.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Thanks for doing this, Tortoise, it was truly entertaining.
"I came here for financial advice, but I've ended up with a bunch of shave soaps and apparently am about to start eating sardines. Not that I'm complaining, of course." -ZedThou
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Awesome results! Many thanks to you, Tortoise, for all your hard work on this very entertaining excursion into foolhardy investing. I'm really impressed that the forum's average result was to lose quite a bit of money. Nice work, all!
l82start, you are a worthy winner. Catastrophic losses, heart attack-inducing volatility, the hopeless downward spiral toward zero... Your portfolio sucked in every conceivable way. Short of lighting a big stack of cash on fire, I don't see how you could lose money any faster.
Oh, and I really like that spike to $230,000 followed by a huge crash back to like $40,000 in October. That's awesome.
l82start, you are a worthy winner. Catastrophic losses, heart attack-inducing volatility, the hopeless downward spiral toward zero... Your portfolio sucked in every conceivable way. Short of lighting a big stack of cash on fire, I don't see how you could lose money any faster.
Oh, and I really like that spike to $230,000 followed by a huge crash back to like $40,000 in October. That's awesome.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
thank you it is a great "honor??" to have my ability to lose money recognized, i would like to thank the "bankrupt bankroll" portfolio for putting me out on the street and guaranteeing i will spend the next few years investing in collecting aluminum cans for recycling.Tortoise wrote: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to announce the final results of the first official Suicide Portfolio Contest!
And the winner is...
Here are the detailed results:
Name Final Portfolio Value Max Drawdown
l82start $38,393 -$66,008
6 Iron $64,517 -$52,827
HB Reader $68,894 -$31,106
Lone Wolf $71,292 -$34,244
MediumTex $81,885 -$24,550
Storm $85,312 -$28,766
Kaffe $87,032 -$22,166
Tortoise $126,834 -$20,144
6 Iron put up a good fight, but in the end nobody could overcome l82start's penny stock debacle. In fact, l82start's suicide portfolio was so incredibly bad that it actually appeared to have a massive heart attack and then finally flatline about 2/3 of the way through the contest (the spike was real: GACFQ shot up by 12x on October 6th and then immediately crashed back down). Truly the final throes of a suicidal portfolio drugged up on anti-HB/anti-PP principles.
Impressively, as 6 Iron noted, almost every portfolio in this contest was a loser--except for my own, which gained almost 30%
Thanks to all of the contestants for participating in this fun and thought-provoking little experiment.
i would also like to thank tortoise for all the work he put into this contest, it has been a lot of great fun, following my portfolio through the highs (yikes! 12x) and mostly lows has been a stomach churning roller coaster ride and has helped keep me from peeking at my HB PP to much..
i believe the next obvious step is to put this fine award up on my wall and start a newsletter...
-Government 2020+ - a BANANA REPUBLIC - if you can keep it
-Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence
-Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
Congratulations to I82start!
And thanks to Tortoise and to all the other contestants.
Tortoise, perhaps you should run for Congress -- they could always use another member that accomplishes the exact opposite of what he sets out to do.
And thanks to Tortoise and to all the other contestants.
Tortoise, perhaps you should run for Congress -- they could always use another member that accomplishes the exact opposite of what he sets out to do.
Last edited by HB Reader on Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: The Suicide Portfolio
I am sorry to see this end. 182start, sign me up for the newsletter; I have an idea for its name: "Dog t#rds of the Dow".