Dumb Ways to Hurt Yourself

[MediumTex]

I am for the most part a very careful person.  I like the PP in part because it reflects a careful approach to investing.

Sometimes, though, being careful is insufficient to keep freak things from happening.

Yesterday morning I walked to my car to bring a few things inside.  As I walked back up the stairs in front of my house, I noticed that the scarecrow in our yard (Halloween/Thanksgiving decoration) had fallen all over in the night.  Picture this except face down:



I reached over to tip the scarecrow back upright, but as I did so I lost my footing on the steps.  As I fell the cupping motion I was making with my left hand to pick up the scarecrow turned into the instinctive "hands-down" motion to break my fall.  Of the infinite number of trajectories my left hand could have taken toward the ground it apparently lined up almost perfectly with the top of the scarecrow, which was concealing the sharp end of the bamboo shaft that went through the whole scarecrow.

When I say the scarecrow and my hand lined up "almost" perfectly, I mean that the top of the scarecrow entered the middle of my left palm at a large enough angle to leave a laceration about three inches long and about as deep as you can go without coming out the other side.  As I hit the ground on my right side I immediately knew that my left hand was hurt, and as I inspected it my fear was confirmed with LOTS of blood coming from that direction.  I went inside and got the bleeding stopped with a bandage and then drove to the hospital and got it stitched up.  As I sit here now I am surprised at how well my left hand works with a large bandage and several stitches going down the middle of my palm.  Fortunately, no tendons, nerves or other important hand parts were damaged and no debris was lodged in the wound.

A commemorative haiku:

Scarecrow with no brain
Reminded me to use mine
And walk fields with care

[Coffee]

Glad you're okay.

Down with Scarecrow.  And his little dog Toto, too.

[Bob]

Medium Tex - yes, "it" certainly does happen, doesn't it?  Glad you are OK and that you did not damage any tendons, nerves, etc.  From previous messages, I take it you are in your early 40s.  I will be 60 on my next birthday.  I have recently hurt myself (i.e., my back) while sitting in my desk chair as I leaned over at an odd angle to turn on my computer.  I've also hurt my back leaning over to tie my shoes.  It is amazing how fast something can happen. 

In 1995 I broke my ankle on a night jump at Fort Bragg when I was assigned to the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg.  I came down through a tree, hitting a branch right before impacting the ground.  All of my weight was on my right ankle.  Now, was this a 'dumb way' to hurt myself?  Probably not.  However, when you consider that only two things fall from the sky, bird dung and fools, then it probably was a 'dumb way' to hurt myself.  Hope the hand heals quickly.

[Storm]

MT, I hope your hand heals quickly and well.  As someone who makes a living by typing words into little black windows on the computer screen, a hand injury is something I seriously worry about.  Carpal tunnel and other RSI is not a joke.  I'm glad you are still able to type well and can continue to share your words of wisdom with us.  Although, voice recognition software is improving, so perhaps someday we can all lounge back on our easy chairs and relive Star Trek, while our hands do something else...

[Lone Wolf]

Ow ow ow!  The description alone had me wincing on this one.  I'm glad that you are okay after that unlucky tumble!

I'm assuming, of course, that luck had anything to do with it.  After looking at that scarecrow I'm not so sure.  That looks like the smile of a killer to me.

Hope you're all better soon (and that the carpet cleaning hobby \ side business isn't too badly sidelined in the meantime.)

[MediumTex]

As I was sitting in the ER on Saturday I would occasionally remove the bandage from my hand to inspect the wound, and I noted to myself that it looked the way I would expect a "stigmata" wound to look, except of course I only had it on one hand.

As I pondered this I wondered why anyone would want to self-inflict a wound like this on both hands (I'm operating from the assumption that stigmata wounds do not spontaneously generate), since it hurts a lot and it puts your hands out of commission for a while.

Ironically, I came across an intereting stigmata news story today and thought I would share it (link below).

LINK

If I was a priest looking for some street cred back in the day, I might have just done the fasting thing or maybe whipped my back a little. 

OTOH, if a person already had certain mental predispositions I could see someone attributing what happened to me as being a stigmata-like experience (though they would need to come up with a story about why it only happened to one hand and how the scarecrow got involved).

[MediumTex]

Hope you're all better soon (and that the carpet cleaning hobby \ side business isn't too badly sidelined in the meantime.)

I was actually preparing for a carpet cleaning job when it happened, so the injury cost me $220 in lost revenue right off the bat (or maybe I should say "right off the stick").

[Lone Wolf]

If I was a priest looking for some street cred back in the day, I might have just done the fasting thing or maybe whipped my back a little. 

No kidding on that one.  From the article:

Similarly, Johann Jetzer, who claimed to have experienced not only recurrent poltergeist phenomena but also a series of religious visions, confessed in 1507 that his stigmata were fake. Four friars from his monastery were subsequently burned at the stake, and Jetzer himself escaped death only after his mother smuggled him a set of women’s clothes, in which he bluffed his way out of his death cell.

Apparently, his "reward" for hammering nails through his hands and feet (and the terrible pain and injury this implies) would be burning at the stake along with all his buddies.  Not sounding like such a great deal.

I like the little detail that Mr. Jetzer made his escape by cross-dressing and sneaking out of jail.  How disappointing to go into this thinking you're going to be recognized as a holy man and instead wind up having to Ru Paul your way out of prison lest you be burned at the stake.

[MediumTex]

If I was a priest looking for some street cred back in the day, I might have just done the fasting thing or maybe whipped my back a little. 

No kidding on that one.  From the article:

Similarly, Johann Jetzer, who claimed to have experienced not only recurrent poltergeist phenomena but also a series of religious visions, confessed in 1507 that his stigmata were fake. Four friars from his monastery were subsequently burned at the stake, and Jetzer himself escaped death only after his mother smuggled him a set of women’s clothes, in which he bluffed his way out of his death cell.

Apparently, his "reward" for hammering nails through his hands and feet (and the terrible pain and injury this implies) would be burning at the stake along with all his buddies.  Not sounding like such a great deal.

I like the little detail that Mr. Jetzer made his escape by cross-dressing and sneaking out of jail.  How disappointing to go into this thinking you're going to be recognized as a holy man and instead wind up having to Ru Paul your way out of prison lest you be burned at the stake.

And just think about how many people don't go to church because they find it to be a crushingly boring experience.

If church leaders talked about some of the stuff that has gone on in the church throughout history (some of it not that long ago), I'll bet people would be on the edge of their seats.

This week's sermon: "Cross-Dressing as an Effective Jailbreak Technique"

Next week: "Ritual Self-Mutilation: It's Not Just for Teenage Girls"

[6 Iron]

Sorry to hear about your injury. I do believe this demonstrates the vulnerability of a chaps-based diversification strategy. Talk about a Black Swan.

When I saw this thread link, it brought to mind a painful afternoon in my youth in a fast food restaurant kitchen with a slick floor, a vat of hot, overflowing grease, and a bad snap decision.

[MediumTex]

I do believe this demonstrates the vulnerability of a chaps-based diversification strategy. Talk about a Black Swan.

Or maybe it's just a sign that leather chaps need to be properly accessorized in order to be truly effective.

Maybe I should tell Mrs. Tex that what I want for Christmas is a nice set of chain mail gloves.  For the dapper PP'er, a snappy set of chain mail gloves might be the perfect complement to the traditional leather chaps.



You've heard the expression "a sharp dressed man"?  With my chain mail gloves and leather chaps I will be "a man dressed for sharps." 

[Reub]

M.T. Get Well Soon!

[cabronjames]

MediumTex, sorry to hear about your injury.  Best wishes on getting well soon!

[moda0306]

Only mt could get stabbed in the hand and still post hilarious comments.  Good form, sir.

Edit: Sorry if that sounded cold... best wishes and get well soon.  Hand injuries are scary and debilitating.

I'm not saying I've ever done this, but don't ever use a sharp knife to separate frozen burger patties... I'd imagine, hypothetically, that this could cause a pretty ridiculous hand injury just when you're trying to host a meal on a nice afternoon, and bleeding all over burgers, cooked or not, is never a good way to get more flavor out of them.

Basically, I think we can look back at some injuries to hastily doing something in a very stupid way where we could have used a little more caution and maybe an extra hand for help and avoided the whole mess to begin with.

A friend of mine's dad recently died from falling out of a treestand and accidentally shooting himself in the stomach.  Morbid and horribly sad, but an illustration of the price we all could pay for getting a little to lazy with safety in situations that call for a lot of it.  I've recently been vastly rethinking my driving behavior in light of a bit more wisdom and seeing too many scary things happen when you try to shave 10 minutes off a 2 hour drive by threading the needle through traffic.

I'm willing to bet the very act of changing lanes (especially merging onto or off of a freeway) or even moderate tailgating vastly increases the chances of an accident.  Speeding in and of itself probably doesn't do much, but the act of trying to thread through traffic you deem to be moving slower than it should is pushing you way beyond the point of diminishing return-to-risk ratio.  I consider getting in the fast lane, leaving 2 seconds between cars, and accepting that I can't beat traffic without taking on a ton of extra risk to be akin to the PP's risk/reward philosophy.  

Rambling: Complete

[Gumby]

Hope you have a speedy recovery, MT.

[lazyboy]

Hi MT, I hope you heal up soon.
I'm reminded of a time 20 years ago when I was 46, working as an outside technician for Ma Bell. I stepped hard off a ladder, landed wrong and fractured my fibula above my left ankle. I was angry at the time and was very distracted having found out I had just been a ripped off by a "financial advisor" on a real estate investment. It became very clear to me that there was a connection between mind, emotions and body.

[Ad Orientem]

MT
Ouch!  Sorry to hear of your painful accident.  Quite a few years ago I suffered injury from an accident sufficiently embarrassing that if I ever discuss it, it will probably be in a death bed confession.

[moda0306]

lazyboy,

Isn't it amazing how many people we expose ourselves to in our financial lives who don't have our financial interests necessarily at heart and have no real fiduciary duty to us?

Realtor
Mortgage Broker
Financial Advisor
Insurance Agent
401(k) Plan Administrator
Time Share Salesman (don't think that a lot of smart people walk out of meetings getting sold on "ownership")
Car Salesman (pretty big financial decision)
Banker at a big chain bank trying to sell you on lines of credit and their .05% interest savings accounts.

Only a lawyer and accountant will usually have some kind of legitimate duty to us, and often even that is peppered with self-enrichment in more illusive ways.

[lazyboy]

Moda,

I'm in the camp of thinking we should make our own decisions on all matters including money, health, relationships and matters of the spirit. Not that we shouldn't listen to the "experts" just that we have to see everything clearly through our own eyes. 

[MediumTex]

Moda,

I'm in the camp of thinking we should make our own decisions on all matters including money, health, relationships and matters of the spirit. Not that we shouldn't listen to the "experts" just that we have to see everything clearly through our own eyes. 

Given how hard it is to find professionals who really understand what fiduciary duty involves, I tend to agree with you.

[Storm]

Isn't it amazing how many people we expose ourselves to in our financial lives who don't have our financial interests necessarily at heart and have no real fiduciary duty to us?

I always found it interesting that a common thief or robber on the street is reviled and locked in prison for stealing a days wages, yet any of those you named have often been able to cheat us out of our life savings with the full force of law on their side, and they are respected members of the community.

[smurff]

Get well, MT. And Happy Thanksgiving.

[moda0306]

Storm,

I think the Madoff's walking away with your life savings are the outliers that numb society to the more common swindle that is all the people that bend their advice just enough that by the time we reach retirement we haven't had one honest conversation with someone we can trust and are significantly less wealth and/or less safe than we otherwise would have been.

[MediumTex]

Storm,

I think the Madoff's walking away with your life savings are the outliers that numb society to the more common swindle that is all the people that bend their advice just enough that by the time we reach retirement we haven't had one honest conversation with someone we can trust and are significantly less wealth and/or less safe than we otherwise would have been.

When I see all of the commercials that the financial services companies run, the surface message seems to be "we want to help you achieve your goals", but what they are really saying is "we heard you either had some money or are going to have some money in the future and we wanted to shave off a few basis points for as long as you will let us."

[stone]

Medium Tex, I think they want to do a lot more than shave off a few basis points. They want us to buy high and sell low and "invest your savings until there is nothing left"