Sex: a collective obsession

[doodle]

Being in my mid 30s now, I'm still surprised by the number of men my age that are completely obsessed with the activity and topic of sex. In my high school and college days I sure found it fascinating and while it is still a pleasurable activity I find it actually a bit boring and way overrated. Sure it feels good and all, but really not that much more than masturbation which requires hugely less investment of time, money, and effort. Thinking about it rationally, I realize that this sexual drive is just natures way of using hormones to elicit drives and desires which ensure our species survival. I often feel though like our species has allowed its intelligence to get hijacked by its hormones....

Sometimes I wonder how much better off and happier our world would be if mans sexual drive would plateau in the mid to late 20s and then gradually decline back to the same level that it was when we were 5 or 6 years old. Think how much freer and unencumbered we would all be to enjoy other aspects of life and no longer having to be the dominant alpha males we could go about relaxing and developing deeper more meaningful relationships

Just a thought......

[MediumTex]

Being in my mid 30s now, I'm still surprised by the number of men my age that are completely obsessed with the activity and topic of sex. In my high school and college days I sure found it fascinating and while it is still a pleasurable activity I find it actually a bit boring and way overrated. Sure it feels good and all, but really not that much more than masturbation which requires hugely less investment of time, money, and effort.

I have heard people say that this would be like comparing an old small black and white television to a modern flat screen plasma display.

Thinking about it rationally...

Don't do that Mr. Spock.  That ruins the mood and sucks all of the fun right out of it.

I realize that this sexual drive is just natures way of using hormones to elicit drives and desires which ensure our species survival. I often feel though like our species has allowed its intelligence to get hijacked by its hormones...

Or maybe the hormones facilitated the evolutionary development of the intelligence.  I mean, are we intellectuals with nagging passions such as the sex drive, OR are we basically cavemen whose skulls happened to evolve to hold a bigger brain.

Do you feel like at your core you are more like this:



Or this:

Sometimes I wonder how much better off and happier our world would be if mans sexual drive would plateau in the mid to late 20s and then gradually decline back to the same level that it was when we were 5 or 6 years old.

Have you seen the film Zardoz?  It's a really amazing film that explores, among other things, the exact question you raise above, and provides a type of answer to your question.  The short answer is that when you do what you are suggesting, humans of both sexes take on a basically feminine nature, since many purposes of masculinity are eliminated when there is no longer any desire to drive mating rituals.  Things also become pretty boring until someone like Zardoz shows up, and then it's on!

Think how much freer and unencumbered we would all be to enjoy other aspects of life and no longer having to be the dominant alpha males we could go about relaxing and developing deeper more meaningful relationships

Just a thought......

Maybe.  Or things might just get really boring.

If someone told me that they were tired of reading, I would tell them that they should explore new types of reading material, since boredom with the current reading material is usually the problem, as opposed to reading itself.

I think that you would be quite right if you said that there are certain human passions that shouldn't be allowed to boil over, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be allowed to cook.

A wise person once read a pudding package and saw where it said to "cook, and chill", and he made this his mantra in life.

[MachineGhost]

Sometimes I wonder how much better off and happier our world would be if mans sexual drive would plateau in the mid to late 20s and then gradually decline back to the same level that it was when we were 5 or 6 years old. Think how much freer and unencumbered we would all be to enjoy other aspects of life and no longer having to be the dominant alpha males we could go about relaxing and developing deeper more meaningful relationships

You're not alone in your thinking, but a lot of money is invested in maintaining the sex-virulity hallucinotion marketing fiction so it still seems too weird to accept a cornucopia of grey outcomes instead of a black and white polarization.  Maybe once the issue of gay rights dies down as being obviously self-evident, we'll evolve.   Sex is just a biological self-releasing drug from twiddling nerves; nothing more, nothing less.  It is mundane but because climax is such a powerful drug, it is inevitable to ascribe "the magic" (to paraphrase Michael J. Fox) to sex and its contextual situations.  Especially the less rational members of our species.

But actually, your hormones do peak in the mid-20's.  It's only due to the exponetially increasing decline into your 30's that you can even adopt such a rational, saner perspective as you're no longer being relentlessly terrorized day by day by the "breeding motivation".  Yes, sex is a terrorist!  From what I can tell by observing mainstream boobs, "the magic" is a choice of liberty.  You're perfectly free to stay ignorant and awash in sex, seduction, "game", romance and all that topical fluff all your life as many do to the strong inverse detriment of their intellectual prowness.

You should read This Perfect Day because it captures perfectly what sex is really all about, among other things.  And shooting up heroin is lot easier than masturbating or the chore ritual of sex to achieve the same or higher fix, but I wouldn't recommend it!

[Mountaineer]

Being in my mid 30s now, I'm still surprised by the number of men my age that are completely obsessed with the activity and topic of sex. In my high school and college days I sure found it fascinating and while it is still a pleasurable activity I find it actually a bit boring and way overrated. Sure it feels good and all, but really not that much more than masturbation which requires hugely less investment of time, money, and effort. Thinking about it rationally, I realize that this sexual drive is just natures way of using hormones to elicit drives and desires which ensure our species survival. I often feel though like our species has allowed its intelligence to get hijacked by its hormones....

Sometimes I wonder how much better off and happier our world would be if mans sexual drive would plateau in the mid to late 20s and then gradually decline back to the same level that it was when we were 5 or 6 years old. Think how much freer and unencumbered we would all be to enjoy other aspects of life and no longer having to be the dominant alpha males we could go about relaxing and developing deeper more meaningful relationships

Just a thought......

doodle,

Of course you are entitled to view sex as you have stated.  My perspective is that in a great marriage sex is so very much more than "feeling good".  In my humble opinion, sex has two purposes:  1. further the species.  2. bond the male and female partners in a lasting relationship that is condusive to raising the beings made in number 1 and living as God intended.  Thus, I see your last sentence  that discusses relaxing and developing more meaningful relationships is exactly the intended purpose of sex.  When one uses the term "sex" instead of "making love" it almost by definition deminishes the value of the act.  I think the widespread use of the term "sex" is just one more example of our culture trying to stamp out traditional family values and replace them with hedonistic values such as .... OK, I'm not going to go there right now ... but you can fill in the blanks.

... Mountaineer

[doodle]

I don't know about anyone else, but having sex with the same woman for the rest of my life sounds like getting a lifelong pass to a giant amusement park and only riding the same roller coaster again and again and again. I also don't like to get spiritual about sex because it isn't unique to humans....every animal does it because they are programmed to do so.... To say that sex is fulfilling also doesn't do it for me. I mean, I don't remember being unfulfilled with life when I was six and not having sex....in fact, I remember relationships and friendships were a lot simpler and genuine back then without all the sexual politics

[MediumTex]

From what I can tell by observing mainstream boobs, "the magic" is a choice of liberty. 

We're trying to keep this place family friendly, so please be discreet about your boob observation practices.

[moda0306]

From what I can tell by observing mainstream boobs, "the magic" is a choice of liberty. 

We're trying to keep this place family friendly, so please be discreet about your boob observation practices.

A family doesn't exist.  Only individuals exist.  Words aren't magical.


Wait... for a second there I thought I was debating Kshartle... my bad.  Continue. 

[Mountaineer]

I don't know about anyone else, but having sex with the same woman for the rest of my life sounds like getting a lifelong pass to a giant amusement park and only riding the same roller coaster again and again and again. I also don't like to get spiritual about sex because it isn't unique to humans....every animal does it because they are programmed to do so.... To say that sex is fulfilling also doesn't do it for me. I mean, I don't remember being unfulfilled with life when I was six and not having sex....in fact, I remember relationships and friendships were a lot simpler and genuine back then without all the sexual politics

When you have the best, there is no need for the rest. 

... Mountaineer

[dualstow]

I find it actually a bit boring and way overrated. Sure it feels good and all, but really not that much more than masturbation which requires hugely less investment of time, money, and effort. Thinking about it rationally, I realize that this sexual drive is just natures way of using hormones to elicit drives and desires which ensure our species survival. I often feel though like our species has allowed its intelligence to get hijacked by its hormones....

I don't disagree with all of that. Just promise me you won't say those words when you're out on a nice date.

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if extremely intelligent AIs were in control of the earth, and humans were absent. They could manipulate materials to their will, create beautiful buildings, gardens, landscapes, nature reserves full of animals... but I wonder if they would or could appreciate them the way humans do, or if the baby would be thrown out with the bathwater.

Lust is part of the whole human appreciation package.

[Mountaineer]

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if extremely intelligent AIs were in control of the earth, and humans were absent. They could manipulate materials to their will, create beautiful buildings, gardens, landscapes, nature reserves full of animals... but I wonder if they would or could appreciate them the way humans do, or if the baby would be thrown out with the bathwater.

Lust is part of the whole human appreciation package.

As is love.  Most of the "stuff" so many value and pursue is what the AIs would likely focus on.  The truly wonderful qualities that make us humans more than just a collection of random molecules would probably disappear.  Ain't it wonderful to ponder the imponderable? 

... Mountaineer

[MachineGhost]

Oh man, y'all crack me up.

[MediumTex]

From what I can tell by observing mainstream boobs, "the magic" is a choice of liberty. 

We're trying to keep this place family friendly, so please be discreet about your boob observation practices.

A family doesn't exist.  Only individuals exist.  Words aren't magical.


Wait... for a second there I thought I was debating Kshartle... my bad.  Continue.

My pun riff got trampled.

And I got such a kick out of the mental image of "mainstream boobs."

[Mountaineer]

And I got such a kick out of the mental image of "mainstream boobs."

Al Gore?  Dear Leader?  Mrs. Hottypants?  Wolf Blitzer?  The Spokesbaby? 

... Mountaineer

[ns3]

When my first wife died I resolved never to marry again but, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't out of a sense of fidelity. I just didn't want the hassle of being yoked to another person's wants and desires again. Like HB I longed to live free in an unfree world.

That lasted about four years until one day I stopped to get a haircut at the airport while waiting to catch a plane. The barber was a very nice young lady who fussed over me like no barber I had ever had before, trimming my eyebrows, and even cutting my nose hairs and the hair growing out of my ears. This almost made me cry.

But what I remember most is the way she leaned against me while she did it.

And the smell of her perfume.

And I remembered where God said in the Bible that "It is not good  for man to be alone" and I agreed.

[doodle]

Ns3,

I think what you were enjoying was the primate activity of preening. Are you familiar with ASMR by the way?

the ASMR effect as "clearly strongly related to the perception of non-threat and altruistic attention", and noting a strong similarity to physical grooming in primates. Nonhuman primates derive significant pleasure (bordering on euphoria) from being groomed, and Huron states that they groom each other not to get clean, but to bond.[17]

There are literally thousands of ASMR recordings on YouTube on myriad subjects. Lots are recorded using binaural microphones as well which gives a 3d sound image when used with headphones.

Here's a barbershop one for you: http://youtu.be/qyGV0TOsrmQ

[ns3]

There are literally thousands of ASMR recordings on YouTube on myriad subjects. Lots are recorded using binaural microphones as well which gives a 3d sound image when used with headphones.

Sounds like an interesting way to simulate the real thing but then you still have to trim your own nose hairs.

(Edit:  But now that I think about it I've been remarried for almost 10 years now and I'm trimming my own nose hairs again any way)

(Edit2: Wouldn't you know that less than an hour after my last Edit, my wife made the observation while driving in the car that I needed to trim my nose hairs?).