on-line dating

[Gosso]

I laughed when I read this:

[quote=NYT]One of the best things about this book is that Mr. de Botton allows his mind to wander to some strange, counterintuitive places. He proposes new, more accurate language for brides and grooms to employ at the altar: “I promise to be disappointed by you and you alone. I promise to make you the sole repository of my regrets, rather than distribute them widely through multiple affairs and a life of sexual Don Juanism. I have surveyed the different options for unhappiness, and it is you I have chosen to commit myself to.”?[/quote]

[dualstow]

That quote is awesome!

[MachineGhost]

Meet Jacob, a thirtysomething, single Portlander on the prowl. He describes himself as “average-looking.”? Girlfriends have called him “lazy, aimless, and irresponsible with money.”? He doesn’t care much about “a solid credit score,”? “a 40-hour workweek,”? or settling down. Thanks to online dating sites, Jacob pursues dates with “one or two very pretty, ambitious women a week.”? He recently ended a two-year relationship with a 22-year-old; he’s currently juggling flings with “a paralegal and a lawyer who work at the same law firm, a naturopath, a pharmacist, and a chef.”?

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/20 ... ernet.html

[Storm]

[MachineGhost]

I almost hate to ask, but...  how does a loser like Jacob manage to attract that many seemingly professional women when they're picky as hell to begin with?  What am I missing?

[Gosso]

I almost hate to ask, but...  how does a loser like Jacob manage to attract that many seemingly professional women when they're picky as hell to begin with?  What am I missing?

I got the impression he was lying.  It would have been interesting to interview the women he was with, to see if they were real and what they saw in him.  However, if that's really what women want, then I give up...I think I'll take a page out of Tesla's book:



 

However, I did setup a POF account, just to see what's out there, and I gotta say I'm somewhat impressed.  I have gotten a fair amount of interest from the "Meet Me" tool.  Quite a few are "less than ideal", to be polite, but there are a few with high potential.  It seems the best girls are ones that have recently moved to the area for work or school, which makes sense.

[MediumTex]

I'm in great physical shape and I've been told I'm not hard on the eyes, and yet was continually amazed at what women expected. Maybe the late 20's crowd isn't that choosy?

Can you give a few examples of what they were looking for?

Was it things like specific body fat levels or a belief in the superiority of certain cat breeds?

I tend to believe that what people say they want is rarely what they actually want.  It's a funny quirk that people have.

[murphy_p_t]

I almost hate to ask, but...  how does a loser like Jacob manage to attract that many seemingly professional women when they're picky as hell to begin with?  What am I missing?

I got the impression he was lying.  It would have been interesting to interview the women he was with, to see if they were real and what they saw in him.  However, if that's really what women want, then I give up...

...However, I did setup a POF account...

Either he's lying or things are really different for the women in older age groups. When I did the POF thing, I was in my late 40's and early 50's and the women were VERY picky. I am a successful professional who treats women well and has grown children and minimal baggage, I'm in great physical shape and I've been told I'm not hard on the eyes, and yet was continually amazed at what women expected. Maybe the late 20's crowd isn't that choosy?

i thought it the opposite...older women giving me their number when i have not expressed any interest or wanting to play...younger ones, giving fake numbers or never returning calls (this is off-line)

[MediumTex]

I'm in great physical shape and I've been told I'm not hard on the eyes, and yet was continually amazed at what women expected. Maybe the late 20's crowd isn't that choosy?

Can you give a few examples of what they were looking for?

Was it things like specific body fat levels or a belief in the superiority of certain cat breeds?

I tend to believe that what people say they want is rarely what they actually want.  It's a funny quirk that people have.

First off, since they are all divorcees at that age, they want you to be everything their ex-husband wasn't. [good luck with that]

'Not lazy, but ambitious', after they mention that they have been 'between jobs' for 4 years.
Don't ride a Harley? Then don't bother.
Specific height requirements, e.g., over 6 ft tall. My 5' 10" is not good enough, even though she is only 5' 4"? Jeez, I could understand it if you were a 5' 11" woman, but REALLY??

That's sort of like a man saying "Well, you're really a perfect woman in almost every way.  You're smart, attractive, funny, charming, and you really seem to love me, but the problem is you have a C cup size, and I am looking for a woman with a D cup, so I just don't think it's going to work out."

[murphy_p_t]

That's sort of like a man saying "Well, you're really a perfect woman in almost every way.  You're smart, attractive, funny, charming, and you really seem to love me, but the problem is you have a C cup size, and I am looking for a woman with a D cup, so I just don't think it's going to work out."

[MachineGhost]

That's sort of like a man saying "Well, you're really a perfect woman in almost every way.  You're smart, attractive, funny, charming, and you really seem to love me, but the problem is you have a C cup size, and I am looking for a woman with a D cup, so I just don't think it's going to work out."

I think weight is more of an issue than cup sizes...

I really hope the under 30 generation hasn't been spoiled by the Internet and rampant porn that they have no longer have any experience or expectations of what real intimacy is.  Judging from the online "slut shaming" bullying of female teens though, I'm leaning more towards that these online dating sites are suffering from a massive self-selection problem, i.e. loose and/or naive women.  I don't see that this is going to get any better until the barriers to entry are increased, i.e. scientifically-based compatbility matching.  Getting true personality compatibility out of the way would just leave chemistry for offline, rather than trying to get both at once. 

[Libertarian666]

I almost hate to ask, but...  how does a loser like Jacob manage to attract that many seemingly professional women when they're picky as hell to begin with?  What am I missing?

By following advice such as is given here:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

Warning: this is very strong stuff that will not be pleasant to read for those who have bought into the standard fantasy of "twu luv" that the mainstream media has been selling for the last 50 years or so.

But people on this forum can probably take it.

[MediumTex]

I almost hate to ask, but...  how does a loser like Jacob manage to attract that many seemingly professional women when they're picky as hell to begin with?  What am I missing?

By following advice such as is given here:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

Warning: this is very strong stuff that will not be pleasant to read for those who have bought into the standard fantasy of "twu luv" that the mainstream media has been selling for the last 50 years or so.

But people on this forum can probably take it.

I haven't read anything that disturbing and entertaining since I read The Report From Iron Mountain.