Mark Leavy wrote: ↑Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:12 am
yankees60 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 28, 2020 10:20 pm
You did give this similar response directed to me not that long ago. But how is a black person (a race that is been in America for 400 years) "not being from around her"?
Vinny
I'm using "not from around here" in the sense that we/they aren't part of some particular 'members only' club. I'm definitely not saying that there isn't discrimination. I am saying that there is discriminatory bias and suspicion everywhere, in every walk of life, by every race, class and culture. It is the norm of the human condition.
Mark, your assertion has not been my experience. I am a visible minority, neither black nor white, but rather from India. Although I have grown up and been educated in the West, partly in the UK and Canada, but mostly in the US. I have been to three of the four example places you listed, the exception being Popeye's in New Jersey (now added to my bucket list though). As you correctly predict, in each setting I was the only visibly different person among the local crowd. However, I am fortunate to report that I was treated well in each place, never the victim of negative discriminatory bias or suspicion, unless I was just too dense to notice.
As a child I grew up in a multicultural city in a district right in between an Italian area and a Jewish area. So most of my friends were either Italian or Jewish, and when we played together, their families took me into their homes, treated me like one of their kids, introduced me to food and treats that I had never seen. When I was a teenager we moved to the SW US and I had a similar experience with Hispanics. In fact, I got invited to Hispanic neighborhood parties and weddings, and my friends' Abuelitas treated me like their own grandson and usually tried to kill me with food. My best friend in high school was black and his immediate family took me into their world in the same way. And there was that time I got stranded due to storms while on a backpacking trip and the Navajo took us in. As a result of my these experiences I can only have a very high opinion of Italians, Jews, Blacks, Native Americans and especially Hispanics.
No doubt, I've probably been shaped by my childhood environment, but even when traveling in other countries, I have always been treated so well, and I find it only takes a few moments to make eye contact, show a little interest, and learn how great other people can be and how costly it can be to buy into negative stereotypes. Maybe I've just been lucky. Maybe I'm privileged for being Indian, because if I were white these minorities might have killed me off in seconds (catch that sarcasm).
Japan is an interesting place. I lived there for six months. Yes, the country is 98% homogeneously Japanese. But as a gaijin foreigner I was never treated in a derogatory way, in fact the Japanese people were absolutely courteous, charming even. At the time my 10 year old daughter was going through a phase where she would refuse to tie her shoelaces. The Japanese fixed that because we could only be on the street for 30 seconds before someone would walk up, smile and point to her shoes expressing concern that she might trip and hurt herself.
I offer this story in support of two points.
First, I have learned there is a immigrant/minority hierarchy. Indians rank fairly high on this ladder being typically associated with doctors, tech workers, academics, and at worst convenience store clerks or taxi drivers. Rarely ever with terrorism, drug trafficking, illegal immigration or violent crime. This tends to make me the beneficiary of positive discrimination whether I have personally earned it or not. Maybe not as fortunate as being white, but a good lottery ticket nonetheless. A black person is at the bottom of this ladder and while some might say, "they" have brought it on themselves due to their own vices, this attitude paints an entire group with one brush invariably resulting in countless unfair casualties. Maybe it makes a difference if you have one or more black friends and you feel they deserve better than drawing a loser lottery ticket that they will have to work to overcome.
If you look deep, maybe you can find a little empathy rooted in gratitude for your own good fortune.
Second, on a self-interest level there are real opportunities to enrich your own life or business if you are willing to not let negative stereotypes obstruct you. In my case, if I had let discrimination get in the way, I would have been much more isolated and left a lot of life experience (and at least one business opportunity) on the table. Yes, you have a point that people often have trepidation over someone who looks unfamiliar, not one of their own. But then it's on you to either reinforce that trepidation, or diffuse it, which I say can be done in minutes, maybe even seconds with 99% of people, the 1% being only the most hateful or backward.
Sorry for the long post, and I hope this is a positive message!