Gosso,
Before you jump wholeheartedly into Roman Catholicism, may I make a comparison with (and endorsement of) confessional Lutheranism? There are surely worse choices than Roman Catholicism: like the Eastern Orthodox and the Lutherans, they have the Real Presence of Christ in the Lord's Supper. As Luther said, he would far rather eat and drink Christ's Body and Blood with the Pope than mere bread and wine with Zwingli. (I think Roman Catholics would say that Lutherans don't have the Real Presence, on account of the lack of Apostolic Succession. I believe we would say that Apostolic Succession can be passed down by pastors and not exclusively by bishops, so we really do have it, but in any case it's not as big a focus for us.)
What's unique about Christianity in the world is that Christ atones for our sins, takes them away, and makes us a new, righteous creation. It is VERY easy for individuals and for churches to flip this around, and get back to what we need to do in order to earn our salvation. Taking the Gospel ("good news", remember), and turning it into a new Law. Becoming imprisoned by the very Gospel which is supposed to set us free.
Up until the Council of Trent, during the counter-reformation, it was perfectly possible to be a Roman Catholic and to hold all the core Lutheran doctrines. Lutheranism was a movement gaining traction within the Church to re-focus on the really important things, like, say, forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake.
The typical Roman Catholic objection to forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake is that you can't get into heaven until and unless you're "actually good". They reject imputed righteousness. Well, if the God who can create the entire universe simply by speaking then tells you that your sins are forgiven and that you are righteous, then you ARE, regardless of anything else.
Roman Catholics as well as many (most?) Protestant churches fall into the same trap: they believe in a progression of righteousness, that people start out unrighteous and then gradually, with great effort aided by the Holy Spirit, they achieve Christ-like righteousness. Even many churches which claim "grace alone, faith alone" urge people to look inward, to conduct extensive self-examination, to see whether they're really worthy. Too much of that, and you end up with either despair or self-righteousness.
The Gospel reading in our lectionary last week was
Matthew 5:13-20. Our pastor
preached a great sermon on it. I'll include some key excerpts:
Pastor Nuckols wrote:
The text did not say: "You are becoming the salt of the earth", the text said "You are the salt of the earth". Jesus did not say "You are becoming the light of the world", Jesus said "You are the light of the world".
Pastor Nuckols wrote:
Can you imagine if your momma or daddy said to you, "You are becoming my son", "You are becoming my daughter"? How do you know if you've ever arrived. How do you know whether you are their son or their daughter. Your momma and daddy said "You are my son", "You are my daughter", defining your identity by their proclamation, not by your self-evaluation.
He related a story about a class Dr Luther was teaching, which I'll paraphrase:
Student: So, man can do nothing about his own sinfulness, correct?
Luther: Yes.
Student: God is to do everything, right?
Luther: Yes.
Student: Then I may do as I please! I can sin as much as I want and it makes no difference.
Luther: Yes, you may do as you please. But. Tell me: what pleases you? Imagine: no more laws, no more punishments. What do you do? Do you drink yourself senseless? Do you make faces at the Duke? Do you spend the rest of the week in a brothel? If you are a good man, you do good works. Not to prove anything, not to gain anything, but just because that's who you are in your heart.
Student: What does it take, then, to be a good man?
Luther: Faith.
Father Barron (whose videos I truly enjoy, thank you again for linking to them) knows this on some level, but hasn't quite put it together. In his video on the Council of Trent, he describes the Roman Catholics as "pulling back" from the Lutheran idea of imputed righteousness. (In fact, they declared that anybody who believed in it was anathema, and excommunicated the Lutherans. That's where we believe the Roman Catholics left the Church.) They declared and believe that both faith and works are required to earn salvation.
[
Here is a page describing the Council's decisions, along with how they conflict with previous Councils and Church Fathers.]
In a different video (I wish I had the specifics!) he's describing what "good works" are, and he absolutely nails the definition (paraphrase): a good work is one that is done purely for the good of the other person. If you expect any kind of tit for tat, or that a side-effect of the work will benefit you in some way, then it isn't really a good work. And he is absolutely correct.
But he doesn't see that Trent's requirement for salvation makes good works, so defined, literally
impossible. If good works lead to my salvation, then I am absolutely benefiting from them in the biggest way. I'm helping my neighbor in order to save my own hide, not for his sake. That's not a good work. Let me say again: if good works are required to earn salvation, then
there is no such thing as a good work.
And this touches on the definition of freedom discussion, and Mountaineer's "freedom TO" idea. With the free forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake, we are free TO do good works. The fact that our behavior does not impact our salvation doesn't mean that we are turned over to sin; instead, it changes us from a state where it isn't possible for us to do good works to one where it IS possible for us to do good works. THAT is freedom. "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
In coming to accept Christianity, I realized two things:
a) What's unique about, and central to, Christianity is the forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake.
b) The best Christian tradition is one which puts a) at its very center.
That's how I ended up where I am.
I would encourage you to check out a good LCMS church (preferably one that doesn't have "contemporary" services), and see what you think. It is a part of the catholic church, rightly reformed. You get the Real Presence; you get all the trappings of Church traditions like vestments, processions, even imposition of ashes, the church year, etc; and you get the proclamation of free forgiveness of sins for Christ's sake.