Benefits of State Marriage

[moda0306]

Yeah if there is a non-income earning spouse it really changes the numbers.

Social security planning is one other one where there might be decent benefits to being married. Esp if you have large differences in benefits.

That said if the former doesn't apply to you (as it wouldn't for many people, costing them thousand of dollars per year), waiting until you are 62 or so to get married is always an option.

It's always easy to get married if the situation calls for it. Not easy to go the other way.

[Libertarian666]

Yeah if there is a non-income earning spouse it really changes the numbers.

Social security planning is one other one where there might be decent benefits to being married. Esp if you have large differences in benefits.

That said if the former doesn't apply to you (as it wouldn't for many people, costing them thousand of dollars per year), waiting until you are 62 or so to get married is always an option.

It's always easy to get married if the situation calls for it. Not easy to go the other way.

Yes, all you have to do is to make sure to get married at least 9 months before you die.

Which should be easy... as long as you know when you are going to die!

Interestingly enough, unmarried people who have similar SS benefits need life insurance to protect the potential loss of the second benefit just as much as married people do.

Have I mentioned my retirement analyzer, which among other things figures out how much that is?

[Michellebell]

Curious, if any of you are married and had a prenup, how did that whole conversation go? I'm glad my husband and I didn't get a prenup. Sorry but it's just so plain unromantic.

[Hal]

Curious, if any of you are married and had a prenup, how did that whole conversation go? I'm glad my husband and I didn't get a prenup. Sorry but it's just so plain unromantic.

Since a state marriage is a legally binding contract, romance has nothing to do with it. You shouldn't let emotions get in the way of making level-headed business decisions, which is essentially what a state marriage is. Unfortunately, most people don't realize this when they enter into it.

Well for me, if I don't trust someone to keep their marriage vows, I would not want to get married regardless and then rely on a prenup if it all falls to pieces. I would see that as similar to boarding a "suspect" aircraft and then hoping the parachute works if something goes wrong. Better not to board in the first place.

If you do want to take that chance, then I feel following Pugchiefs advice is essential.

Also, with every successful and happy marriage I know of, they knew each other for years prior to romantic interest, so they had an insight into each others character before hand. How that would happen in a large city instead of a small country town, I would have no idea....

PS: If someone asked me to sign a prenup, its almost like saying "I don't completely trust you to keep your wedding vows, so sign this contract."

[Hal]

Since a state marriage is a legally binding contract, romance has nothing to do with it. You shouldn't let emotions get in the way of making level-headed business decisions, which is essentially what a state marriage is. Unfortunately, most people don't realize this when they enter into it.

Well for me, if I don't trust someone to keep their marriage vows, I would not want to get married regardless and then rely on a prenup if it all falls to pieces. I would see that as similar to boarding a "suspect" aircraft and then hoping the parachute works if something goes wrong. Better not to board in the first place.

If you do want to take that chance, then I feel following Pugchiefs advice is essential.

Also, with every successful and happy marriage I know of, they knew each other for years prior to romantic interest, so they had an insight into each others character before hand. How that would happen in a large city instead of a small country town, I would have no idea....

PS: If someone asked me to sign a prenup, its almost like saying "I don't completely trust you to keep your wedding vows, so sign this contract."

Hal and Michelle,
If you were going to partner up with someone in a business venture, let's say a restaurant or a dry cleaning store, would you do so with out a written contract? Even if you knew your business partner for years? But knowing how many businesses fail in the first 7 years? You think you know people...until you don't.

Would you refuse to go into business with them if they asked you to sign a contract before forking over half the seed money?

Short answer: Now, in a large city, "No" I would not carry out business transactions without a contract.

Long answer: Coming from a small town, yes people did carry out business transactions with just a handshake. I still know small communities where this happens, BUT, societal and religious pressure keeps people behaving honestly. Also in a small town, there is more interdependence - Eg. Who will harvest your crop if you get sick, and you have destroyed your reputation by defrauding someone?

Have a read of this article as an insight into living in small communities, especially note this quote"

“Allowing our members to shift their interdependence on each other to dependence upon any outside source would inevitably lead to the breakup of our order.”

https://www.armstrongeconomics.com/worl ... ity-taxes/

These factors also led (in the past at least) to a much higher chance of a successful marriage. But now, the Government has forcefully inserted itself into marriage, so the interdependence is gone. A spouse can behave unethically, but still have security because of court orders imposed on the other party. Consequences for your actions are gone now.

Hope this explains my thoughts Pugchief, and look forward to hearing Michelle's and others opinions.

[Michellebell]

Since a state marriage is a legally binding contract, romance has nothing to do with it. You shouldn't let emotions get in the way of making level-headed business decisions, which is essentially what a state marriage is. Unfortunately, most people don't realize this when they enter into it.

Well for me, if I don't trust someone to keep their marriage vows, I would not want to get married regardless and then rely on a prenup if it all falls to pieces. I would see that as similar to boarding a "suspect" aircraft and then hoping the parachute works if something goes wrong. Better not to board in the first place.

If you do want to take that chance, then I feel following Pugchiefs advice is essential.

Also, with every successful and happy marriage I know of, they knew each other for years prior to romantic interest, so they had an insight into each others character before hand. How that would happen in a large city instead of a small country town, I would have no idea....

PS: If someone asked me to sign a prenup, its almost like saying "I don't completely trust you to keep your wedding vows, so sign this contract."

Hal and Michelle,
If you were going to partner up with someone in a business venture, let's say a restaurant or a dry cleaning store, would you do so with out a written contract? Even if you knew your business partner for years? But knowing how many businesses fail in the first 7 years? You think you know people...until you don't.

Would you refuse to go into business with them if they asked you to sign a contract before forking over half the seed money?

Would I agree to one of those business ventures? No. That is not sane or rational.

For me, love is also not sane or rational. When my husband married me, I was entering a win-win situation (he had more money than me and also makes more money than me), but he was taking a risk with me. I'm still glad he took it, and to be honest, if my son finds himeself in that situation, I'd recommend he take that leap. I also just had my fourth child. That's not the slightest bit rational from a monetary or logical standpoint. There are already plenty of people on this planet and we'd be so much more rich if we had fewer children. We'd also be less tired and have more time to spend with our oldest children. But of course I'm thrilled and beyond blessed to have all the children that I have. I generally like to think of myself as a thoughtful and logical thinker, but when it comes to areas of the deepest love like marriage or children, that all goes out the window.

Logically, it makes so much more sense for people to just live together but I really don't want to see marriage become obsolete because I think it is rewarding to the married people. My father got burned pretty badly in the divorce with my mother, but of course I have to be glad that he married her or else I wouldn't be here now. My father is also very happily remarried now too. I remember being really surprised because even after all my father had been through with my mom, he married my stepmother only 6 months after they met and he paid up all her debt (something like $30K in credit card debt that he paid all at once). They went on to have three more children and she ended up becoming really responsible with her money, as well as a very good wife and mother.

I don't know if the type of woman that seeks to get married is, in general, superior to the type of woman who is content to just date and not commit. Of course I'm biased, but I think that the marrying type of man and woman both are probably more stable and devoted than the types who are not seeking that level of commitment. So in that sense, it IS more sane to get married because the highest-ranking women or men are the ones who are looking for that. If you are determined not to commit to legal marriage, you may be left with the less desirable people to choose from.

Nowadays with fewer and fewer people marrying, maybe that's not the case as much as it used to be. But I still think there may be something to that and truthfully I'd like to see more people value marriage like they used to in this country.